Family resents brother for dating someone wealthier than them, supporting sister comes to his defense, leading to a rift in the family: ‘They don't deserve him’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Feb 4, 2025 8:00 PM EST

If you have siblings, you are aware that every family with siblings has to deal with some sort of rivalry between them. You can be best friends with your siblings, love them, and want the best for them, and still feel like you compete with them for the title of 'most successful child'.

Or maybe it is just me, I'll have to ask my therapist about it.

But even if you do feel like you're in competition with your siblings, there is a big difference between wanting all of you to succeed in life (and maybe for you to succeed slightly more), and preferring your siblings to be miserable instead of successful. Jealousy is an ugly emotion, and letting it control your relationship with your siblings can lead you down a dark path that might end with the actual crumbling of your family.

Instead, being happy for someone so important to you should be the path you want to go down. Celebrate each other's wins, and genuinely be happy when they are happy–those are the foundations on which you should build your relationships with your family. 

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  • The story down below is a cautionary tale, that proves that siblings are way better off having each other's backs than competing against each other. May we never end up like this family and only know joy for others' success…

  • CLORU CEPTIS NITED ST DERAL "I tried to stand up for him, but was met with pushback"
    via Ekrulila

  • "My family hates my brother for dating someone wealthier than us and it’s tearing us apart."

    I (35f) have a younger brother (27m) and I've always saw him as the black sheep of the family. He has some learning issues and he has the lowest level of college education out
    via ldpeterso
  • of me and my siblings (nothing wrong with that!) and he lived at home longer than any of us. My brother has told me I'm really the only person in the family who
    via ldpeterso
  • actually believed in him and doesn't condescend, and he told me I've always been there for him and unconditionally supportive.
    via ldpeterso
  • H'I, he's told me on several occasions I'm his favorite sibling haha He started dating this girl (26) a bit ago and I think they're a wonderful couple. They very
    via ldpeterso
  • clearly love each other and I sincerely hope it works out between the two of them because she's perfect for him and he seems perfect for her.
    via ldpeterso
  • The thing is she and her family are far wealthier than ours and from the beginning I could tell our parents were a little insecure about that. He also has had a lifelong dream
    via ldpeterso
  • of being in the film industry and she apparently has a family member who has some connections and as a result, he's consistently worked on TV shows for the
    via ldpeterso
  • past year. I also know when she comes over, she always brings fancy foods that are pretty much always a step above what our mom is capable of cooking. The fact
    via ldpeterso
  • that he's also the only one in the family who doesn't have student debt seems to also be a sore spot with my parents and siblings.
    via ldpeterso
  • His partner has an apartment in Manhattan and she invited him to move in with her, and he told us he's taking her up on that offer. Tonight we all had dinner together minus my brother and we talked
    via ldpeterso
  • about it. From what I could tell, my sister hates him because she's always wanted to live in the city but doesn't have a job that could maintain that, our brother
    via ldpeterso
  • hates him for being able to live his dream job while he had to give his up, and our parents seem to hate him because he now has all these
    via ldpeterso
  • opportunities that “he didn't work for" because he found someone who has money, and of course there were some snarky comments about how he might only be
    via ldpeterso
  • dating her for her money and they didn't know why she was with him. Every time they made cheap shots at him, I tried to stand up for him, but was met with pushback. By the end of the conversation,
    via ldpeterso
  • it was clear that any defense for him was not welcome and flags are being planted. Afterwards I called my brother to let him know how proud I am of him and how
    via ldpeterso
  • happy I am for him, and he asked if I could come over sometime to show me the new apartment and they even invited me to stay a few days in the city at their place.
    via ldpeterso
  • Cheezburger Image 10462594048
    via AleksandarNakic

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • I'm dealing with so much sh right now with my fiancé and my job I seriously don't have the energy to deal with a family civil war, but I don't know what's going to happen. I love my brother
    via ldpeterso
  • and we text pretty much every day, but I also don't want to burn bridges with other people in the family so I'm frustrated, stressed, scared, and disappointed.
    via ldpeterso

  • What pains me in this story, is that it wasn't just about sibling rivalry, the parents were also letting their jealousy ruin their relationship with their son. They couldn't put their ego aside and be happy for someone else's success. What kind of family is that?

  • Tl;dr: my younger brother (essentially the black sheep of our family) has started dating a girl far wealthier than we are and has a lot more opportunities than my siblings and I because of that and my family is resenting him for that.
    via ldpeterso
  • roman1969 So, as long as everyone is struggling and miserable then all's good? When one person appears to find happiness, love and success, then the family implodes?
    via roman1969
  • Well I'm camp 'Little Bro'. His GF thinks he's beautiful and if your family can't see the amazing qualities he has then they don't deserve him. Sorry, your family sounds terrible.
    via roman1969
  • cattleyawarscewiczii I would wonder what they say about you behind your back when they can be that jealous and condencending about a member of your family in front of you..
    via cattleyawarscewiczii
  • teen33 How could a parent be angry that their child is happy and living a good life? Isn't that what all parents wish?
    via teen33
  • MizzyvonMuffling Don't engage, let them simmer in their jealousy and envy until they turn green in the face. Kudos for standing up for your brother and supporting him.
    via MizzyvonMuffling
  • annod75 You should tell him how they feel. He deserves to know and hopefully cut them all off. You should too, your family are teeeible.
    via annod75

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